Do you ever wake up some mornings, and feel like a cloud of darkness have enveloped you and you can see nothing but darkness, anger, frustration?

I woke up that way this morning.  I know when that happens to me, I have to distance myself from people in general, and my friends in particular otherwise it can get ugly.  I will say things I truly don't mean, I will look at them with anger, I will only come from a place of anger.

So i cancelled the plans to go to the lake today with a pagan friend of mine, and have answered a few emails (easy enough to re-read and erase what i may have typed that was not needed as opposed to talking when the words come out and you can not retract them once said) and decided to blog about it.

Surely everyone has these days?  Surely i'm not the only one?

Being a strong Empath, when this happens i have to sit a minute and see if these are MY feelings, MY frustration and anger - or am I getting them from someone else?  I am always strongly connection to my family (my blood family as well as those I have chosen for my family) so I run through the list o see if I am getting it from them (and sometimes i am) or if it is from me.  I know that the darkest part of me is still angry, still frustrated, still hurt - so sometimes it IS me.  If it's someone else, I will block that "incoming" and it usually works.  Then I will contact them to see what is going on.  It's always a relief to find it's coming from a loved one that i have a tie with and not me.

Because if it's coming from me - that's scary.  That I still harbor those dark feelings within me?  ARGH....some days it seems to never go away.

So, I sleep.  In sleep i have peace - if only for a while.  Peace from other's emotions, peace from my own emotions --in sleep i can reconstruct what my reality is, and make it nicer, prettier, more....just MORE than it is at the moment.  In sleep I can create what i want.

All I crave is peace.  Some days i have it, some days i have to work for it, and some days it is slippery and elusive.

I am guessing that is the way of the world though.

Enough Poor Me for now.....

May the Gods and Goddesses bless you and yours,

Namaste,

Michelle